Even the Ugly Bits

We are all works in progress, just like art. In fact, the journeys we go on to become who we’re meant to be are just as unpredictable as true intuitive art-making.

NO ONE has it all figured out, and those with agendas created from the mental space are shorting themselves of the experience of the true depth of their magic.

Sometimes we don’t like parts of the journey. Sometimes the shadows come out to play. And that, too, is okay. Even necessary, I would argue.

Each of my artworks evolves over layers and layers of source energy embodied. I listen to the energy, but I don’t always like what I see until, after a month of daily sessions with a single piece, I can *finally* understand what all of the previous layers were for.

Once I see it all coming together, I begin to understand the purpose of each small mark I was compelled to make. I see how the “ugly stages” were essential to provide the foundation for the power of the final piece. Because yes, at times I *really* dislike a piece in its current form - and have even been tempted to just throw it away and give up on occasion!

But then I don’t.


Then I keep going. I step back from my fixation on “When will I get there?” Or “Can I just be done already?” I let go of what I “think” should be happening on the canvas or panel. And I breathe. And I paint, just a little bit more. Over and over again.

I don’t paint to produce; I paint to CREATE. I paint to bring magic into form. And I know it’s not True Magic if I’m constructing it. If I’m focused on production instead of allowing the magic to emerge.

Yes, I get impatient with the stages of my own art pieces - just as I do with the stages of my own life journey. There are times I just want to get to “the end” of a particular stage.

But when it all finally comes together - after days or weeks or sometimes even years - I’m always relieved that it was worth it. The magic is pure. And the depths are rich.